Post-College Grad Thoughts + What I Miss About Being EiC
Missing ODU and Norfolk Just a Little Lately…
One of my favorite streets in downtown Norfolk, Botetourt St., is known for its cobblestone roads. Cars driving by—regardless of how big or small—would have to cross by the rocky surface to parallel park. Many locals and ODU students would come to Cure Coffeehouse to drink their flavored lattes. While the lattes may be pricy for most students, the view of the Elizabeth River is just a walk away and was worth every penny.
Author’s Note: Story was written back on 1/28/22. At the end of the post is an update.
Hi! :3
I cannot believe it’s been over a few months since I’ve graduated college (December 18th, 2021.) I remember posting so much on my Instagram stories, documenting my life and the glamour of being in that “boss” chair. I had the privilege of managing a newsroom, building a passionate team, recruiting writers, and being engaged with the ODU community. Nearly every day was hectic. There was always something going on, whether it would be an on-campus event, football games, or scandals and controversies. It was such a beautiful era, an era where I knew I could accomplish anything in my journalism career with such passion and hard work.
Until I’ve been shoved out into this world, figuring out how I do start was painfully difficult. So, this new chapter would probably have to be my least favorite because it’s starting all over.
Applying for jobs in itself is an actual job, only you’re not getting paid.
Routinely, I would scroll through JournalismJobs.com, LinkedIn, or search up on Google for ‘reporter jobs hiring.’ I initially had such a positive attitude on job hunting, especially when I knew it was going to be a hard road for me. Once I got rejected from one job to another, this ‘imposter syndrome’ felt like bricks were thrown at me.
According to a Harvard Business Review article, the term, “imposter syndrome” is defined as, “Doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments.”
The article included, “Many question whether they’re deserving of accolades.”
Reflecting on my time as Editor-in-Chief of my student’s newspaper, Mace & Crown, my biggest ‘weakness’ would be considered as a ‘perfectionist.’ I sometimes wished that everything was perfect, but there is no such thing. I also sometimes wished I remained ‘graceful’ and a little less ‘show-boaty’ throughout my role, but I was proud of myself. I was proud that this was my highest point. While it may sound selfish towards others, being in that position of leading and managing was an opportunity to grow as a person.
Michelle Obama, a role model I look up to, once said that “Being president doesn't change who you are, it reveals who you are.”
She was right. I don’t think I was a bad leader, but I learned that people will always have a negative or positive perception of me. Being an EiC is no different since being in a leadership/management role has high expectations. Everyone wants their leader to be perfect, but what every adult always has told me–including my mom and my sister–control what you can control and worry about your part. I didn’t know what they meant until after I graduated.
It then dawned upon me that I truly did what I had to do for the publication, but I never gave myself enough credit because it felt like I did nothing in my role and was only ‘lucky’ to be in office.
After having a heart-to-heart conversation with a guy friend (shoutout to Xavier!) back in January, he says that I deserve to give myself the credit. Doubting myself is not going to get me the job I want.
Indeed, I do miss being EiC, but I knew naturally it was my time to leave. I remember the last day of being there in the newsroom. I was alone in my office for one last time. The news editor left earlier. The digital editor briefly stopped by as well, but then left for the gym. I got up off my office chair and looked around to make sure I didn’t leave anything behind. Once I had my belongings in a few bags, I left a sealed envelope to the new Editor-in-Chief. My heart was heavy as I closed the door and cried quietly, I grabbed my bags, then walked to my car.
Favorite Editor-in-Chief Memories // June 2021 - Dec. 2021
Event Photos Courtesy of Nicholas Clark and Elena Harris
Until today, I don’t want to face the newsroom I once called mine. It was my world, my everything, and I was passionately in love with this position. The good and bad times were what made the experience memorable. However, the little and big things I got to do are what I miss the most.
What I Miss About Being an Editor-in-Chief
I earned my own money.
It wasn’t thousands of dollars I was earning, but it was enough to get me what I need or what I want. All the new clothes I brought or supplies for the newsroom came from the money I earned. In fact, the pantsuit I wore on my graduation day was spent with my own money. It was my newsroom during that time, regardless of what anyone said. So, I took care of it. I cleaned the tables when no one was around, washed the coffee mugs, and threw whatever leftover trash was on the tables away.
Writing on the big chalkboard calendar each month.
Whenever I stayed past 5 p.m., towards the end of every month, I would wipe the big chalkboard wall’s calendar. The dustiness of the chalkboard every time I clapped my hands from writing always made me sneeze and cough. Any usual events such as meetings, sporting events, and so forth would be written down first. Since not every day was typical, plans would often change, so some events or production dates and deadlines would often be erased. I loved planning and seeing what would happen each month because it meant to the team that we had tasks to complete.
The bass of the loud music from my office’s desktop computer.
I loved it when my Soundcloud playlist played music like the Mace and Crown’s newsroom was a photoshoot set. What was more relaxing was when the evening would quickly fall as “Faded Love” by Tinashe played on my desktop computer. Oftentimes, I was alone, with no boyfriend to go to dinner with or come home to, nor too many close friends that were free on a Tuesday night. Listening to this song every evening, I would often imagine what would it be like to pursue someone once again or come to terms with the relationships I’ve had before. It was relaxing but mostly a solitary feeling.
The refreshment table was filled with coffee, chips, and candy.
Coffee is needed for most college students, so along with the editors, I brought snacks in for refreshments. I would usually get these snacks at the beginning of the month. My editors would also bring in snacks that they didn’t want so others can eat. The refreshment table was meant to be a welcoming and courtesy gesture towards writers or anyone interested in us. Plus, I didn’t have to spend over $5 each week for coffee or a latte at Starbucks.
My office window.
The EiC’s office window was facing the ODU chemistry building, which was a depressed-looking boxed building across from the Webb Center that barely had windows. On the other hand, the building was mostly behind the greenery from the garden. During the summer, I would often look out the window and see how radiant it was outside. When fall evenings came around, my reflection often was seen in the window. I didn’t buy a mirror but I did love taking selfies there!
As I embark on this new journey of the ‘real world,’ I am still in the process of giving myself grace and being able to look back at the accomplishments I did in my college career. Maybe one day I’ll look back and think to myself that I shouldn't have been so self-critical. I highly doubt my ‘imposter syndrome’ would go away. However, I remain hopeful and positive, regardless of how many ‘no’s’ or ‘not yet's I receive.
Til next time,
— Paula J.P.
UPDATE: I FOUND A JOURNO JOB FINALLY!!!!!!
I’ll share what learned in the next few posts, BUT FOR NOW, I’LL BE CELEBRATING!! BYEEEE!
